ADHD and a Lego Heart: A Mother and Son's Journey

WHEN MY SON was in second grade he hated school. He thought he was stupid, and that his teacher hated him. This teacher sent home notes that said things like "Colin needs to try harder," or "Colin needs to get his work done." In hindsight, two things were obvious: Colin had attention deficit disorder (ADD), and his teacher wasn't being very helpful. 

But at the time, I didn't know what was wrong, and I didn't know where to turn. Hours of Google searching at last led me to a clue - perhaps my child had ADD. When tests confirmed this, and he began taking medication, all of our lives changed for the better. He began to thrive at school, and some of the problem behaviors we'd been seeing at home diminished as well.

My search also led me to Eastside CHADD (Children and Adults with ADD), and I began attending their monthly support group meetings. Here I met other parents struggling with the same issues I was, heard talks by local experts on all facets of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivty disorder), and borrowed from the extensive lending library. 

If you, or a child you love, has ADHD, I highly recommend attending the Nov. 15 CHADD meeting a t. Dr. Harlan Gephart, who has many years of experience treating children with ADHD, will talk about what parents can do to help promote a positive future for their child with ADHD. 

Which brings me back to my son, and the Lego heart. Like many children with ADD, Colin struggled with emotional overload -- sometimes known as tantrums. These were an emotional pressure relief valve for him, and instead of getting mad, I learned to be compassionate, and allow him to regain his equilibrium at his own pace.

One day when he was about nine, he had a meltdown. I gently took him to his room and closed the door. He was noisy for a long time, and then he was quiet for a long time. When he came out of his room, he handed me a Lego heart. In front of the heart were two Lego figures, a mom and a boy, running toward each other, arms outstretched.

I understood that he was telling me that he was sorry for his tantrums, and that he wanted reassurance that I loved him despite his sometimes difficult behavior. That Lego heart still lives on my dresser, and probably always will.  

My son is now 18, a happy freshman and "distinguished business scholar" at Western Washington University. I think his academic and personal accomplishments are partly due to the things I learned from CHADD and from a Lego heart.

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Eastside CHADD meeting

Who: ADHD expert Dr. Harlan Gephart will speak about "Hope for the Future," and how parents and their children can deal with the disorder.

When: Nov. 15, 7-9 p.m.

Where: Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, Surgery & Physicians Center, 12040 NE 128th Street, Room TAN 101 (downstairs).

More information: www.eastside-chadd.org/Meetings.html.

Karen is a blogger on Kirkland Patch, her story was so compelling and full of good information, we felt people in Woodinville may be interested.