Moms Talk: Boys will be Boys?

Folks, I’m not too thrilled with my behavior a few weeks ago. I was meeting a friend and her son (same age as mine) at a local, let’s say, kid-friendly restaurant with meals guaranteed to make you “happy” and a climbing structure to keep your children “entertained.”

Before you all try to call me on breaking my no-fast-food rule for the summer, I can say I didn’t eat at all and my kid had some apples and ice cream … granted, the apples could have sat on the counter for a week without browning and the ice cream has more chemicals than cream, but it seemed the only choice under the arches that were whole-food-like.

Now, I admit I don’t really go to places like this often. I don’t do the mall play spaces at all and I rarely do the other entertainment places either, and it’s because I JUST CANNOT KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. From preventing toddlers from dragging babies through a playscape to children trampling on a toddler in a bounce house, I always seem to be the one to jump in. I can’t help it.

Let me take you by the metaphorical hand as we travel back to that fateful day when I went out in public and how I almost clocked a fellow parent in the kisser because her children were such utter aggressive jerks.

I get the vibe. I know there are no real “rules” at places like this. It’s every kid for himself. The parents are watching TV with headphones in, knowing full well that no one is going to parent their child for them in the gerbil maze. I do not, however, have an aggressive kid–I have a teacup kid, one unused to situations where there are no rules and where parents just don’t give a crap what their kids are doing. So sets the stage for an hour of utter anxiety.

Keep Away: First offense? Older jerk kid brothers playing Keep Away from my kid. Nate’s never played this sort of game before because, well, it’s not a game, it’s a mean-spirited way to alienate another child from play. Not cool. I intervened on that one and said, loud enough for all to hear of course, “Don’t play with these kids, they aren’t nice and they won’t let you have a turn even though the ball doesn’t belong to them.” Was that bitchy and rude? Sure. Did I say it looking directly at their mother who didn’t do a thing? Yeppers.

Girls, too: This was a weird one. Since Nate was there with a friend they went off into the play structure together. His pal knows the ropes. He’s a pretty aggressive kid himself, but I know he’s not a jerk. Down comes Nate a few minutes later saying some girls were “rolling him over.” I didn’t think it was that big a deal and said so. I advised him that if he wanted to go up there, he had to just work it out and tell the other kids, even the girls, to leave him alone and just stick with his friend. It was only in the car that I realized he was trying to tell me that the girls were pushing him down and trying to roll him over things. He did the right thing. He came to me, and I think I did the right thing by telling him to go make it work. Part of me wishes I had asked better questions, but for some reason, I just didn’t think girls could do a lot of damage to my giant boy. Lesson learned.

Spitting? Really? So, the last straw, and I have to say never in my life have I seen this happen, was this kid SPITTING on my kid. Literally, walking behind him, pushing him and SPITTING on him. I’d love to say that I’m no germaphobe, but I am. I’d love to say that I calmly called up and told my son to come down away from the animal that was spitting on the other children, but I didn’t. I ran up that gerbil ramp and got in between them. And the little jerk spit on me, too! I could not believe it. Red-faced, furious and kinda understanding where my kid was coming from for once, I growled, “Where is YOUR MOTHER?” She finally came over to the net and the kid started “crying.” Seriously? No really--seriously? You are going to bring a kid out that chases older, better mannered kids through a playstructure hitting and spitting? Her response to this wasn’t even embarrassment, she simply informed me that her son wasn’t used to strangers talking to him and that I was scaring him. Uh, huh? Your spawn is spitting on people and I’m the problem? I think not.

Parents, I know kids get aggressive and kooky no matter how hard we try. The thing is, if you know you have an aggressive child, stick with them and don’t let them hurt other kids. Sure, if you have a group of kids you see on a regular basis, go ahead and let them figure out their own social hierarchy, but not with strangers in public. Otherwise, you might have some crazed Mama Bear tearing up a slide to parent your children for you.