Moms Talk: Potty Mouths

Kim is a local mom and provides childcare to another child similar in age to her own daughter. Seems the other day, when her charge didn’t get his way, he called her the B-Word…as in, “You are such a B-Word!”  Clearly, she was pretty shocked to hear this coming out of a toddler’s mouth and was curious to see what yours truly thinks about the matter.

Confession: I love profanity. Really, it makes me giggle…the more ridiculous the better. It also lets me release stress like a *&^#$%ing erupting volcano of vulgarity. One of the greatest gifts of Motherhood is a night out with the girls with no language police. Swearing is not, however, something I want to ever hear come out of my toddler’s mouth.

Recently, the Stremlaus have has to restrict our choice of music in the car after darling almost-5 year-old Nate asked about a certain Jay-Z lyric using the F-Word. I know he’s heard me say this word before (and more) and has never repeated it. This query however, had to deal with the way Mr. Z was using it and note it was not in the “we are stuck in traffic because of this a—hat” kind of swearing. Back to KUOW it is…or the latest radio edits at the very least.

Allow me to stress to you parents that by disallowing your children from using adult language, You are not being a Hypocrite! You don’t let your child play with knives, fire or hopefully, any lead-based painted toys out of China, right? You don’t do these things because you are the adult and you are the boss. It is NOT OK for kids to swear and their little world should stop if bad words cross their lips. Should these words slip their lips, immediately explain that those words are not for kids and warn of a consequence if they say it again. I’m not suggesting you grab a bar of Ivory or anything, but a simple, “Those words hurt people, if you say them again, I’m not going to play this game…we will have to end the playdate…we will be skipping sweet treats tonight, etc.” Kids respond pretty quickly when everyone is one the same team so be sure to not let any incidents slide. And DO NOT laugh. Ever. It sets you way back.

It’s not OK, even in the house. Childhood is tough enough to navigate without having to remember whether what they say when they are hurt, frustrated or angry is an OK word or not. Sometimes, we unwittingly get our kids in trouble with our own brand of family humor… I know I had a difficult time convincing my husband that yelling, “Brown Alert!” every time my son had a bowel movement was going to come back to bite us. Sure enough, our potty language resulted in our son getting in trouble at school. Yes, it is hilarious when your husband teaches the 3-year-old to say, “Peace out Ladies” with a double-tap peace sign with their friends, it’s not so much when he does it to the Health Inspector. Resist the temptation to add extra weight and meaning to something you don’t ever want to hear.

What CAN they say? If you want your child to express themselves without swearing, you have to give them some options. Is “Peanut-buttter!” OK? How about, “Holy Cow!” or “Fudge!”? You can’t prevent your child from expressing their anger or frustration, but you can give clear guidance to where the line is and what happens if they cross it. In our house, we are “Oh, Brother!” or “You are so busted!” and luckily the “Brown Alert” days are coming to a close.