What would our relationships be like if all it took to defuse confrontations and arguments was to go out to dinner?
Dagwood’s solution teaches us an effective way to avoid confrontation, inserting a pause.
He chose, in the moment of impending confrontation to:
- Insert a pause,
- Take the time to consider how he would like his relationship to turn out,
- Think about something to say that might make a difference for both of them, and
- Then effectively disarmed the conflict.
Brilliant. Dagwood knew is was about to happen; Blondie knew an argument was about to happen, and it is clear that neither of them really wanted and argument.
Their approach was by inserting a pause into their communication, inserting a pause that allowed them to go out to dinner first and calm the waters between them – before any storm broke.
The reason we need pause strategies is this: As many if not most arguments and relationship confrontations stem from our reacting in the moment, anything that inserts a pause, that provides us with a moment to reflect will permits our intelligence to get in gear to guide us.
Inserting a pause is a very simple approach to confrontation. It is no more difficult than saying, “Hold on a minute, let’s step back and think about this together.”
In short, take the time to insert a pause before putting mouth in gear.