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Is it a Want or a Need?

Getting your child to the "no" all by themselves.

 

The other day at , I had a breakthrough with my son. He saw a young girl across the parking lot with the biggest teddy bear I have ever seen save the street window of FAO Schwartz. The thing was larger than the small blond girl carrying it and suddenly, my 5-year-old son was overcome with a severe case of the gimmies.


Now, we don't watch a lot of commercial TV in our home. Don't get me wrong here, we watch a TON of TV and play video games and all that other brain-sucking nonesense, but we rarely watch commercials. In large part, this has reduced the number of requests for toy and sugar cereals and oddly, a request that we switch to Progressive (because the pretty lady has a store we can go to). We still, however, face the gimmies, as does every other parent. Nate covets our neighbor's trampoline, his friend's little and big brother (good luck with that one pal!) and, of course, the giant bear bobbing through the parking lot.

I get it. I'm that girl who can barely keep her seat at the restaurant when food goes by for another table. "What is THAT?!?" I beg of my table and the waitstaff, wondering if I ordered the wrong thing. Given my own gimmie admission, and a spare 1/2 hour we had that day, we chased down that almost true-to-size bear.

Instead of just stating flat out that we are NOT going home with that bear, I tried to match my son's excitement. "Holy Cow, dude. That's the biggest bear I've ever seen!" was my response. For once, we ditched my carefully mapped out list and went straight to the toy/outdoor section to go bear hunting. I feigned exasperation when we couldn't find it, told him to keep his eye out for the elusive brown bear and was overjoyed when he asked an employee for guidance. Thankfully the employee was gracious enough to lead us on our hunt. The bear was found, including the $29.99 price tag. Not too expensive for a 4'5'' bear, but I didn't want to go home with another stuffed animal.

Obviously, the only thing on my son's mind was whether he would choose the blond bear or the black bear. He was getting that bear. I decided to pull out the "want or need" card. You know the one, right? The "I know you want the bear, but I don't think you need it." It so rarely works. Children think they will cease to breathe if they can't have the latest "whatever" just as I can't help but ponder passing desserts while I'm nibbling on appetizers. This time, though, it did work. He remembered that we had to make room for his new air hockey table and that we had just purged a ton of his baby items to make way for all his big boy stuff. He took a picture of the bear on my phone and we walked away to do our shopping.

So many times, I mindlessly throw things in my cart (and my life) thinking I need them, when the truth is, I don't even want them. Recently, I did a massive clean-out of our home, tossing things we've built up in our 15 years of marriage and five years of parenthood, held a free garage sale (people were so skeptical as to why I was giving things away for free), and called the Big Blue Truck for the rest. 

I'm surprised just how many things were and are in my life that I think I needed and even more that I thought I wanted. I like showing my son that you can be just as happy with the things you have that you truly do need, like trampolines and decent car insurance.

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Saira V. May 19, 2013 at 10:11 pm
Paula, you'll have my vote! The preparation and thoughtful approach that you bring to our PlanningRead More Commission as its Chair will be a welcome skill set for serving on the Woodinville City Council. Good Luck!
Ken Mortland May 17, 2013 at 09:53 am
Congratulations to Inglemoor and Woodinville DECA teams. I knew you'd do us proud. NorthshoreRead More School District's DECA program has been winning awards for years. One of my ex-students, Heather Pressler, a DECA award winner from Inglemoor, is now a PhD candidate in molecular biology back on the East Coast. DECA opens so many doors to success.
L to R: Carol Pawlak, Amgen corportate communications; Bob Stewart, Bothell High School principal; Julia Lacey, Northshore School Board president; Larry Francois, Northshore superintendent; Amanda Rainwater, Bothell High School science teacher; and R
Ken Mortland May 17, 2013 at 09:48 am
Congratulation, Amanda. Always delights me to see Northshore teachers earning awards, as they areRead More among the very best in the state. Thank you for your efforts and service to your students and your profession.
Ken Mortland May 17, 2013 at 09:43 am
Congratulations, Lydia. You are continuing a tradition of leadership and excellent that is theRead More hallmark of the Northshore School District.
Margaret Santjer (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 07:07 am
Good luck and keep us posted!
Ken Mortland May 14, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Way to go, Knight's Science Team! What a thrill to compete nationally. We know you will do usRead More proud. Another example of the excellent educational services being delivered by Northshore School District and its teachers.
Ken Mortland May 10, 2013 at 01:31 pm
Once more we see solid evidence that Northshore's schools deliver excellent educational services.Read More How many school districts can boast that all three of their high schools are nationally ranked? Northshore's communities have good reason to be proud of their schools.
Heidi Lovett February 1, 2013 at 03:33 am
Teresa - It depends on how old your student is. You can contact our club at SwerveRobotics at gmailRead More dot com. I can help you get plugged in. Heidi - Lead Mentor, Swerve Robotics
Greg Fazzio January 31, 2013 at 05:14 pm
Theresa, you can contact Heidi Lovett at the address above to inquire about the program.
Carolyn Davids January 31, 2013 at 05:12 pm
ROBOT DEMOS! To schedule a robot demonstration for your school, business or club, contact HeidiRead More Lovett, Mentor, Swerve Robotics, email firstmentor@comcast.net, 206-679-4305.
Ken Mortland January 22, 2013 at 01:07 pm
Another great example of the quality of education available in the Northshore School Distict. Way toRead More go, Northshore.
Robert Michelson May 7, 2013 at 04:03 pm
Great opportunity to get together with neighbors and experience international culture in our ownRead More backyard! This will be terrific.
Local Guy April 10, 2013 at 01:58 pm
I have been extremely frustrated in the past in trying to effectively communicate with Frontier. MyRead More developing sense was one of very poor live support. I find it refreshing to see Frontier respond in a timely manner to this very public assertion. One can hope this is also occurring in your phone support, especially after hours...
Christy Reap April 10, 2013 at 12:30 pm
I have spoken to Mr. Gaulke and assured him we are not cutting speeds in the Woodinville market (orRead More any of our markets). We are working with him to approach his technical issues from scratch and will do all we can to alleviate his concerns about his speeds. His business, and all the business from our customers in the Woodinville market is very valuable to us. While we are disappointed to receive feedback his service is not living up to our standards, we are grateful for the opportunity to work with Mr. Gaulke and keep his valuable business. We welcome inquiries from other customers if there is anything we can do to improve. Please reach out to me at 425.275.8579 and let us know how we can help. Dan Clark General Manager Frontier Communications
Christy Reap April 5, 2013 at 09:47 pm
Frontier has spent the past three years expanding broadband to hundreds of thousands of homes acrossRead More the US and increasing speeds in many of our markets. Mr. Gaulke’s experience and recount of his conversation with one of our reps comes as a surprise to us. We are checking our records to find out what the possible miscommunication could have been. In the meantime, let us be clear: We are not decreasing speeds in Woodinvile, or any of our markets for that matter. We will be reaching out to Mr. Gaulke to see if we can alleviate any lingering concerns. Christy Reap Frontier Communications